My Two Birth Stories: How Hypnobirthing Changed the Way I Gave Birth

Two entirely different experiences, and everything I learned in between

Meeting Pea for the first time.

A little over a decade ago, I had my first child, Troy. To be honest, I didn't have much of a plan going in, just: get to the hospital, get the epidural, have my baby, and go home. Simple, right?

Here's what I didn't know, and what no one ever explained to me — once I got the epidural, I couldn't move around anymore. My labor stopped progressing, and the doctors started to worry about my son. There was even talk of a cesarean section, which made me terrified.

At one point, my husband held my hand and told me, "Everything is going to be okay." I don't think he fully believed it either, but it helped. Eventually, our son was born, but he wasn't breathing. I remember doctors rushing into the room, working to get him breathing, and then watching him get taken to the NICU. A few days later, we finally left the hospital together, as a family.

Five years later, I got pregnant with my daughter. I was overjoyed, but I was also still carrying a lot of fear from Troy's birth. I mentioned it to a coworker, who was pregnant too, and she suggested we try Hypnobirthing together. I said yes, even though I had no real idea what it was. My husband was skeptical, he joked about me getting "hypnotized" and waking up with a baby in my arms. Funny, right? But he came to every class with an open mind, and by the end, he enjoyed it just as much as I did.

For the next few weeks, I practiced the tools I learned almost every day. Some nights I'd dim the lights in our living room, put on my headphones, and sit on my birth ball listening to guided relaxations and affirmations. Other nights my husband would gently massage my back, or I'd practice my breathing and movement instead. We'd go on walks together, and I really focused on seeing birth as a positive, empowering experience.

When it was time for my daughter's birth, everything felt different. I labored at home, in bed, from about four in the morning until seven, drifting in and out of sleep, breathing through each contraction. Around eight, I asked my husband to draw me a bath. The moment I got in the tub, I felt the urge to push.

I got out, sat down, and realized, this was it. We calmly packed our bag, and once I got in the car, I put on my eye mask to block out the bright lights, put on my headphones, and let my guided relaxations play. The contractions were getting stronger and coming more often, but I kept breathing through them, reminding myself how my body was built for this, and that our daughter would soon be here.

When we arrived at the hospital, they checked us in, but since I was so calm, they didn't seem to rush anything. We settled into our room around 10 a.m., and almost immediately, I could feel she was coming.

As I was birthing her, I felt a deep connection to my body. I felt the amniotic sac break and the warm fluid, and then, as she continued to move out of my body, I felt her tiny feet on the inside of my stomach, almost as if she was working to make her way out. It's a moment I'll always remember. It felt like we were connected, working together, my body and hers. By 10:30, our daughter, Pea, was born. There wasn't even time for an IV or paperwork.

At one point, a nurse told me, "Don't push, don't push, the doctor isn't here yet." I tuned it out completely and listened to my body instead. She arrived on her own terms. The doctor did make it just in time.

Today, she's still that same calm, free-spirited little human, and I really do believe some of that started with how calmly she entered the world.

I've experienced two entirely different births. One full of fear and uncertainty, the other calm and connected to my body and baby. My son's birth is what pushed me to look for something else. My daughter's birth showed me that something better was possible.

That's the reason I'm so deeply passionate about the work that I do as a Hypnobirthing educator. I get the opportunity to teach families the tools and techniques that helped me build trust in my body, in my choices, and remain calm through it all. I'm able to help them prepare for one of life's most transformative experiences—giving birth.

xo,
Marlene

P.S.
If you’re curious what Hypnobirthing actually is, and how it made that kind of difference, I’m writing a whole post on it next. For now, if you want to learn more, my Hypnobirthing classes are here whenever you’re ready.